Saturday, January 22, 2011

Thoughts on 5dpiui

Welcome ICLW. Thank you for stopping by my blog. Here is a very abbreviated version of our TTC Journey: Married for 4 years and TTC for 3+ years. We are pretty sure the only issue is a CM issue. Because of life stressors and some fear, we have never followed through with any ART until now (besides clomid and testing).  We just had our first (and only, hoping) IUI this past Monday in which I had 3 mature follicles and DH had a great sperm count. I am 5dpiui.


I really appreciate the comments about my last post about fear. They helped me to know that I am not the only one who struggles with it. For the most part I have been pretty good, but I have my moments that my mind goes wild. If I am staying busy, I am not fearful. But in times like when I first wake up or go to sleep and driving to and from work, I have a hard time quieting my mind.


One second my fears are that we will get pregnant with triplets because I had 3 follicles, or that I will have a tubal pregnancy, and then the next second it will be that I am not pregnant and will never be pregnant. It is so crazy.


The Progesterone suppositories have been pretty gross, but nothing horrible. I just hate having to wear a pad. They are so uncomfortable. The only side effect I have experienced has been bloating. I have had some slight cramping so that might also be another s/e.


We have told several family members about the details of our cycle. I have such mixed emotions about it. I like the idea of having people behind us every step of the way, but I also feel like they don't truly get the emotions that accompany each step. The most common reaction is excitement which I like, but for sometimes I feel it is not good for me for everybody to get so excited. When I try to explain my fears or how I am somewhat guarded at times I get the "you just have to stay positive".  I don't really know what I expect from people. My own feelings are so conflicted that I just can't pinpoint what I need from those around me.


One thing that did bother me was when I was describing what an IUI was and a family member said "oh that's the turkey baster thing". That really bothers me for some reason. I think if she says it again I might address it. I feel defensive when it is described in that way. I know it isn't the most romantic/natural thing but calling it "the turkey baster thing" feels a little insensitive. Or maybe I am just sensitive about it. I don't know what to think or feel anymore.
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13 comments:

  1. - Mrs. DJanuary 22, 2011 at 11:25 AM

    I think the "turkey baster" comment is insensitive, too - I would assume positive intent, and think that the person didn't know exactly what they were saying, but it still hurts. Keep your head held high - you will make it through! I was on progesterone suppositories, too - never knew how gross they were until I forgot to wear a pad one night... my advice - keep wearing the pad :)

    Happy ICLW and here's to a successful cycle... keeping my fingers crossed!

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  2. LindsayJanuary 22, 2011 at 1:35 PM

    Yeah insensitive is a good word. I know people have a hard time relating when they do not understand but their words can still hurt and we still have to hear them.

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  3. Elaine VanDRiverJanuary 22, 2011 at 2:24 PM

    Hello from ICLW! I'm also in the camp that thinks the turkey baster comment was mucho insensitive. I honestly don't think people realize that those kinds of phrases are so insensitive. Perhaps if the shoe was on the other foot, it would make sense. Who would honestly want their furture child's conception described as a "turkey baster thing"? Ak. And besides, that phrase does not do justice to the inherent miracle of life and a very delicate, precise and highly specialized medical procedure that it is.

    Sending you positive thoughts for your IUI. The two week wait is the worst, hang in there! Enjoy ICLW in the mean time! :)

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  4. LaurenJanuary 22, 2011 at 2:59 PM

    Agreed about the turkey baster... but my coworkers/supervisors have picked up on that term and it's just become so much easier when I say, "I'll be in late tomorrow due to a turkey baster appointment in the morning." Then I come in and they say "YAY DID IT WORK" and I say, "Um it's only been 30 minutes." I guess giving it a stupid term makes it more acceptable for fertiles to discuss it. I don't know.

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  5. AnxiousMummyto3January 23, 2011 at 5:06 AM

    Here from ICLW and agreeing the "turkey baster" is insensitive, I would address it if you feel the need. Good luck with the 2ww! I know it can be so hard. Take care

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  6. annieJanuary 23, 2011 at 3:38 PM

    Hello from ICLW! I've actually publicly referred to the turkey baster method, but I cope with the fear and demons by keeping this whole mess light. However, if you were offended, you should say something.

    Good luck!!

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  7. MissyJanuary 23, 2011 at 5:39 PM

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. I told my family during our first IUI like you did in the hopes they would share the excitement. It ended up adding stress for me because everyday they wanted to know if it worked and of course I had no news for 2 weeks. After that, I didn't tell them anyway and even lied that we were on a break when they asked directly about it.

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  8. waiting and wishingJanuary 23, 2011 at 8:28 PM

    Thanks for stopping by! I totally agree with you about people's insensitive words- SO ANNYOYING! I wrote a whole post back in September about a med students asking if IUI was "the turkey baster method" it didn't help that aside from being stupid, she was also pregnant...

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  9. CJanuary 24, 2011 at 1:07 AM

    People who have NOT experienced IF will never understand the pain their careless words cause! I hate, simply hate such people. I actually had to lock several friends when I was TTC. and now none of my family and friends know that I am TTC#2. I cannot take their insensitivity.

    ICLW#16.

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  10. AntsJanuary 24, 2011 at 2:11 AM

    Hi there :)
    I would find that comment insensitive too, it would be nice if people could be interested enough to learn the correct terms or abbreviations and use them!
    Plus the term 'turkey basting', apart from being demeaning, makes it sound like a much easier process than of course it actually is!

    I hope you're coping okay in your 2ww, and best of luck to you!

    Ants (ICLW #133) :)

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  11. RebeccaJanuary 24, 2011 at 11:25 AM

    Hi from ICLW and thanks for stopping by!

    I'd have to agree that the turkey baster comment would piss me off, too. For one thing, it really minimizes the process and the emotions that go into ART. It sounds like a brush off.

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  12. AnonymousJanuary 25, 2011 at 2:54 AM

    Here from ICLW. Ugh about the turkey basted comment! Definitely, definitely insensitive. Good luck and best wishes on this hopefully last cycle!

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  13. The C'sJanuary 25, 2011 at 12:23 PM

    Dropping by for ICLW week! First time visit to your blog.
    It's tough to hear comments about something so personal. For me, I feel that when we're still processing how we feel, we are very guarded. For me, I say it's ok for me to make jokes or be lighthearded about it but NOT for others about my life? I guess that's just protecting myself?
    And I think those (that do joke or make what seem like insensitive comments and/or are ignorant to the whole process) are trying to make light of it because they don't want to show their fear or concern for you and make you feel bad on top of them not understanding what the heck one goes through.
    Sending lots of sticky baby dust your way! Come on BFP!
    Take care,
    The C's
    #161

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