Welcome ICLW. Thank you for stopping by my blog. Here is a very abbreviated version of our TTC Journey: Married for 4 years and TTC for 3+ years. We are pretty sure the only issue is a CM issue. Because of life stressors and some fear, we have never followed through with any ART until now (besides clomid and testing). We just had our first (and only, hoping) IUI this past Monday in which I had 3 mature follicles and DH had a great sperm count. I am 5dpiui.
I really appreciate the comments about my last post about fear. They helped me to know that I am not the only one who struggles with it. For the most part I have been pretty good, but I have my moments that my mind goes wild. If I am staying busy, I am not fearful. But in times like when I first wake up or go to sleep and driving to and from work, I have a hard time quieting my mind.
One second my fears are that we will get pregnant with triplets because I had 3 follicles, or that I will have a tubal pregnancy, and then the next second it will be that I am not pregnant and will never be pregnant. It is so crazy.
The Progesterone suppositories have been pretty gross, but nothing horrible. I just hate having to wear a pad. They are so uncomfortable. The only side effect I have experienced has been bloating. I have had some slight cramping so that might also be another s/e.
We have told several family members about the details of our cycle. I have such mixed emotions about it. I like the idea of having people behind us every step of the way, but I also feel like they don't truly get the emotions that accompany each step. The most common reaction is excitement which I like, but for sometimes I feel it is not good for me for everybody to get so excited. When I try to explain my fears or how I am somewhat guarded at times I get the "you just have to stay positive". I don't really know what I expect from people. My own feelings are so conflicted that I just can't pinpoint what I need from those around me.
One thing that did bother me was when I was describing what an IUI was and a family member said "oh that's the turkey baster thing". That really bothers me for some reason. I think if she says it again I might address it. I feel defensive when it is described in that way. I know it isn't the most romantic/natural thing but calling it "the turkey baster thing" feels a little insensitive. Or maybe I am just sensitive about it. I don't know what to think or feel anymore.