Sunday, December 5, 2010

More Than a Year

Since my past post I have turned a year older. 27 sounds more than a year older to me than 26 for some reason. But I love celebrating my birthday no matter what age because it is a celebration of life and living.

I have opened up about or IF plans with an aunt and her wife. I figured they would understand being a couple that cannot conceive on their own. And they did. For some reason I don't want to keep it a secret and have lately felt compelled to inform many family members and to talk very openly about it. I guess this surprises me because it is far from the person I used to be.

I used to be this person who exemplified the perfect life as a someone who really had things together. I wasn't this person, but it is who I wanted people to think I was. I didn't really share any negative things in my life with people. The real me remained hidden behind this persona of perfection.

I have changed a lot since then. Being diagnosed with CF and dealing with IF has taught me about opening up and letting people be there for me. I realized that it is hard for people to connect to someone who doesn't have any problems. Problems make us human. And we connect through suffering. Maybe this is why I have been so open with family about our IF. To me its like saying "See people, I am not perfect. I suffer too! I need love and support too!"

I have also learned a lot about the importance of self care. Which is why today I plan on spending a couple hours doing chores around the house and then I am going to get a message, and then relaxing by the fireplace while watching football all day.

Maybe 27 sounds more than a year older than 26 because of the amount of personal growth that has happened in that time...


  1. Happy Birthday! I'm glad I can comment now.
    Problems do make us human and bring us closer to one another if we let them.

  2. Great post--I'm a lot like that too. I never want anyone to see my vulnerable side. It's hard to open us sometimes and there are still a lot of people in my life who have no idea what's going on.