Yesterday we met with the perinatologist, and it was a bit overwhelming. They did an ultrasound and we got the see the babies. They actually looked like little babies and they were moving! It was amazing. After the scan we talked to the actual doctor. She was very straightforward and said she wanted to share all the information on triplet pregnancies/birth so that we could make an informed decision about selective reduction. I told her we were not thinking about that unless there was a clear danger (beyond that of just a "normal" triplet pregnancy) to me or the babies. But she went ahead with her facts and figures anyway.
The conversation started off very scary. She spouted off things like "97% of singleton births result in a healthy baby, 95% with twins, and 70% with triplets". She also told me that I have a 15% chance of miscarrying all or one of the babies by 20 weeks. Then once she knew that our questions were gearing the conversation towards moving forward with all 3, she sounded a bit more positive about everything. She ended by saying "if you are ok with triplets, then I am ok with triplets".
I left feeling very overwhelmed and upset at the thought of even entertaining the idea of selective reduction. The bottom line is, we just can't go through with it. I just don't know how we could choose. So the choice is to move forward with all three of these precious gifts. I am SO SCARED sometimes...mostly of the pregnancy and about the babies' first days/weeks of life. Sometimes I wonder how I will have the courage and strength to go through this--the discomfort that lies ahead and the risks to the babies of being born prematurely.
I really try to focus on the good stories with positive outcomes. If you have any positive stories to share, or any advice at all on how to stay positive and be courageous I am more than open to hearing them. I just really want to enjoy this pregnancy and this experience. We tried for long for this dream to come true and now it is happening and I don't want it to be filled with fear all along.