Go Away Fear, You Are Not Welcome Here

This weekend we hit a big milestone. We started registering for gifts for our baby girls. I had no idea I would feel emotional about it. But while walking around the stores with my DH and picking and choosing the baby items really made me pause and feel so grateful. Planning for a shower feels surreal. There were several times throughout our TTC journey when my doubts and fears overwhelmed me and I thought I might never be sitting at my own baby shower, or that I would never have a need to register for baby products.

But here we are. Tomorrow I will be 17 weeks. I got teary-eyed just picking things up off the shelf and picturing OUR baby/babies using them. I know to some that this is early to register, but I don't really have much of a choice. I am getting more uncomfortable by the day, and to avoid missing my shower due to possible bed rest, my first (having 2) shower is in less than 4 weeks!!

Registering was a lot of fun. I did research on products and even made a spreadsheet (I know, a little much) before we hit the stores so that we wouldn't feel overwhelmed with all that we needed. It is very hard to stick to a "theme" when buying products for 3 babies, and instead of getting them all the same thing (when it comes to things like swings and exersaucers) we were pretty much all over the place and things don't all match. I even threw in a lot of blues and greens even though they are girls, because I love those colors. I am also not sure how much I could tolerate a whole house full of pink. 

Their nursery will be brown and pink for the most part, so don't worry, the pink will have its place :) This weekend my parents are coming into town and they have generously offered to purchase the babies' cribs, so we will be crib hunting. We are so lucky, and it is such a relief financially to not have to buy three cribs. 

As I get further along in the pregnancy I notice that all kinds of fears try to creep into my consciousness. It is like the more I settle into my pregnancy, the more some defense mechanism wants to comes out telling me to protect myself. I have done a fairly good job of ignoring that part of me, but it is there deep down somewhere. Do we all have that? I am DETERMINED not to let fear ruin this experience. I have ultrasounds pretty much weekly...what more proof do I need that everything is ok with the babies? Also my daily belly growth should be enough proof, but still at times I find myself fearing worst case scenarios. I really just remind myself that there is no reason to worry unless I have a reason to worry. I try to relax. And I try to just appreciate every single moment.